After coming home from a four year stay in Canada, I continued schooling in my Malaysia. It was a change indeed from the more liberal education system overseas where a person's individualism is cultivated to grow positively and independently, rather than a system more towards conformation towards a set of standards and majority conceptions.
There are three major examinations in the education system in Malaysia; the primary national exam, the lower secondary national exam and the upper secondary national exam.
From the beginning of my schooling in Malaysia, I had always been able to achieve results that would put me in the best class of any school I was in. From Standard Two, my classmates included my cousin, from my mother's Chinese side of the family. We were always in the best class, due to our exam results. Although we were not as close as sisters were, we were together learning the same things, with the same teachers, with the same classmates, doing the same homework. But we were not in the same circle of friends. I was closer with my Malay friends and she with her Chinese friends. The reason why, would require in-depth study from an expert as to why we chose to be with persons of similar race. But in my case, the expert would have to figure out why I was with the Malay students and not the Chinese, as I was of both races. Was it because I looked more Malay than I was Chinese? Not because I was more fluent in the Malay language I presume, as I was English speaking. Could it be because I wasn't fluent in the Chinese language? I actually, was perfectly comfortable and capable to be in either race social group without so much as a thought as to its racial identity? Or could it be that the Chinese students did not see me as their equal or as Chinese actually?
With the first exam, the primary national exam, my results warranted me to be in the same league as my cousin. I, instead was offered a place in a boarding school exclusively for Malays. I declined the offer as I wanted to study with everybody else and I wasn't particular about being "exclusive". I, however was very much mistaken, as the concept of a mutually exclusive society, especially in education, was about to prevent me from being able to study alongside with everybody else as I wanted.
Because I had declined going to a boarding school, I was looking forward to meeting my friends again in the first year of secondary school. Donning my new secondary school uniform which was turquoise in color compared to the dark blue one from primary school, I felt grown up and no longer under the "children" category.
As our names were being called, I saw one by one my classmates and my cousin being designated a class called 1S, with S being for Science. My Malay friends however were designated to 1A with whomever's results fell accordingly from top to bottom 1B, 1C and so on. Imagine my confusion when my name was not called out. I, on the other hand was in neither 1S or 1A but was called aside and placed in the class 1P, (with P being for Perdagangan or Accounting) with strangers not previously from my school, but students whose results were at par with 1S students from other schools. The only exception is that students in 1P were ALL Malays and they all boarded in a location nearby, except of course, for ME.
Once in the classroom for 1P, I immediately felt like I wanted to run out of the classroom as per my previous incident 5 years ago. There was no explanation given as to why I was placed in a strange classroom with all Malays and when I found out that P was for Accounting, I was even more confused as to this alien subject matter which was unfamiliar to me. Why was I deprived of Science and Pure Math? I got A's in all my subjects except the Malay Language subject. This alone should have been indicative of my educational aptitude, if at all examinations are indeed indicative of educational aptitude (Another topic worth of debate). Therefore if my exams results were not indicative of my abilities for Math and Science, my Chinese heritage should have put this doubt to rest. Not to say that I am at least pro to the idea that race has anything to do with subject matter competency. I just wanted to be with my classmates, and cousin.
I stuck it out for a day. I don't remember what I did exactly, but I think I must have approached a teacher or someone. It could be that I went and talked to the 1S form teacher, and they put me into 1A with my Malay friends. Well, better than being with strangers, even though I had to take Home Science instead of Science and certainly not Accounting. (I don't know why, but until today, I simply do not like accounting. Even having experienced it as subjects later in the coming other schools and my MBA courses. I love Mathematics, which is my degree major, but not Accounting.)
And so my friendship with my Malay friends became close since it was the only friendship that endured the past five years.
It did not prevent me from having pangs of envy whenever I passed by my cousin and classmates at the science lab on the way to Home Science and I saw them looking into microscopes of thinly sliced onions, and them making jokes with the teacher about the human reproductive system and other intricate drawings of cells and science facts on the board. Instead I had to distinguish between the uses of a kitchen towel versus a dish cloth and why a dish cloth is to be used to wipe dry a pot rather than a kitchen towel. I got scolded very often for mistakes in the kitchen regarding basic skills like using the wrong utensils and not knowing how to fry my kuih kacang hijau (mung bean fritters) somehow with all the mung beans not adhering together as a solid fritter but scattered all over the oil.
My first year in secondary school, turned out to be as my first year in primary school, often picked on and scolded by a particular teacher, until my friends, coming to my defense, tells me to not volunteer too many questions in the learning process and to just accept whatever facts the teacher decides to provide us without question.
Over the following years, moving from one school to another, I had the opportunity to experience another three schools before I "escaped" to college, a term I like to use to indicate the freedom I later had to pursue my educational fields of interest, as compared to what was previously forced upon me because of societal assumptions regarding educational proficiency based on racial differences that had been accepted by my community.
For my Form Two education, I experienced a total Malay school environment when my family moved to Kepala Batas, a small township surrounded by acres of padi fields in the year 1978. As you may have guessed, I had to take Accounts again with the only science subject being General Science along with General Math and English being my strong subject.
The next year, we moved to Klang, and even though I had applied for admission to the mission schools there, I was instead enrolled in a national girls school called Bukit Kuda. Fortunately, it was here that I came to enjoy the adventures of experiencing the many activities of being a teenager as well as what school could actually offer me and what I could offer it.
My racial dilemma had actually almost ended here with only little dashes of incidents that did not stop me from bringing out my potential and the best of me. I am fortunate for that and this school and its teachers; I tribute you and am grateful to you. Forgive any discrepancies in my memory on your subject matter cause the person your model provided me was more than the subject matter you taught me.
Mrs Guna; History and teacher in charge of Prefects. She believed in me, gave me the most eye opening pep talk, and was the brunt of my naughtiness that felt free to come out and be playful with her. Your sense of humor and support of my potential was a resolve I wish my parents had of me.
Ms Vivian; Class teacher, English. You let me tag along for Drama class so that I could be part of the experience even though I could not act. You are my role model for refinement and perfectionism.
Ms Mary Peters; Chemistry. You gave me the opportunity to enjoy a subject I was deprived of for so many years in school. I still remember the chlorine gas incident.
Mrs Yap; You taught me that "I am the candle in the night,..." as well as the ability to be a genius in Math, to enjoy Math, and set the stage for me to pursue an education in Math.
The last year of school in a mission school in Kajang was again a reminder of how things really were and how racial prejudices and assumptions were to influence the mindsets of the different races in my country, impacting any efforts, if any are in place at all, of the way to conceive a truly Malaysian identity and existence.
School is about enjoying sports and the outdoors.
It creates teamwork, respect, honor and leadership skills.
Acknowledgement is important not just for educational accomplishments, but also to motivate good life skills; kindness, fairness, compassion, love and respect for each other's differences and individuality.
Every human being has the right to reach his/her potential in any environment they wish.
The world needs to be a free and safe place for everyone regardless of where they were born, their race, culture, skin color or religion. We are all human beings on this earth.
#peace
#peopleofearth
#thehumanrace
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